{"id":72,"date":"2022-04-20T21:02:30","date_gmt":"2022-04-20T21:02:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/khoggattabader.com\/?p=72"},"modified":"2022-04-20T21:02:30","modified_gmt":"2022-04-20T21:02:30","slug":"defining-a-karen-and-a-ken","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/khoggattabader.com\/?p=72","title":{"rendered":"Defining a ‘Karen’ and a ‘Ken’"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

https:\/\/tucson.com\/opinion\/local\/tucson-opinion-defining-a-karen-and-ken\/article_670deea4-d83c-11eb-8d0f-73c6af3ac589.html<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The other day, when I was trying to get my son to take his dish to the sink, he replied, \u201cOK, Karen.\u201d Such remarks have been common in my household for over a month, and while I suppose I am somewhat proud of this milestone in his cognitive development (he\u2019s recognizing patterns, I guess, albeit misguided), I am worried. His reaction seems to be a reflection of the sexist culture we live in. We are all guilty of sexism, and we all perpetuate it, even (I was shocked to discover) me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, let\u2019s define what we mean by a \u201cKaren\u201d (and my apologies to those who go by that name; just my luck that the meme\u2019s nomenclature did not yield a \u201cKristen\u201d). According to Dictionary.com<\/a>, \u201cKaren\u201d is \u201ca pejorative slang term for an obnoxious, angry, entitled and often racist middle-aged white woman who uses her privilege to get her way or police other people\u2019s behaviors.\u201d Urban Dictionary contextualizes her this way: \u201cKaren refuses to wear a face mask for her five-minute trip to the supermarket during a pandemic. She harasses the workers, asks to see the manager and threatens to sue.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, before being called one, I didn\u2019t question the ire directed at \u201cKaren.\u201d I, too, was appalled when I watched the video of \u201cCentral Park Karen\u201d calling the police because a Black man told her to put her dog on a leash. I too found myself shaking my head at the \u201cKaren\u201d who wouldn\u2019t abide by store policy. I would often scan my memory for encounters with \u201cKaren\u2019s,\u201d comforted that the meme retroactively validated my irritation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But after being called \u201cKaren\u201d (and, believe me, that inspired an impassioned lesson to both my kids), I started to wonder, why are only women being called out? Why is there a pejorative term to describe a woman who is simply imitating what the men in her life do all the time?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why did I have to Google \u201cthe male equivalent of Karen\u201d just now? His name is \u201cKen,\u201d by the way (apologies to Ken). But why isn\u2019t the Ken meme equally popular? Why, when my husband tells my son to do a chore, my son doesn\u2019t have a snarky \u201cOK, Ken\u201d to talk back with? As Matt Berical of Fatherly.com<\/a> rightly notes, \u201cwhile Karens are burned at the stake online, their male counterparts are often let off the hook.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my own experience, men tell me what to do all the time. I always get reactions from men when I write a hot button opinion piece. I\u2019ve only written, at most, three hot button opinion columns in my life, yet men are the only ones who feel entitled to Google me, find my email address, and tell me with whom I should consult the next time I dare to open my mouth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am not writing to excuse those who feel entitled enough to try to regulate someone\u2019s behavior. While exceptions could apply, generally speaking, people should mind their own business, no matter what their gender identity. I\u2019m writing to say that the Karen meme should spur us to pause and ask some tough questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we still judge men and women by different standards? Why, when an elderly male gives ill-suited advice, is he brushed off as a grumpy old man, while a female exhibiting that same behavior is often branded with a four-letter word?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And why don\u2019t we take more proactive approaches to try to end this default?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I tell my son all the time that life isn\u2019t fair. Life sucks. But I hope to raise him to try to make it better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Published by The Arizona Daily Star<\/em> June 29, 2021<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

https:\/\/tucson.com\/opinion\/local\/tucson-opinion-defining-a-karen-and-ken\/article_670deea4-d83c-11eb-8d0f-73c6af3ac589.html The other day, when I was trying to get my son to take his dish to the sink, he replied, \u201cOK, Karen.\u201d Such remarks have been common in my …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":74,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[22,23,24,26,25],"class_list":["post-72","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-columns","tag-karen","tag-ken","tag-men","tag-slang","tag-women-bias"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/khoggattabader.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/pop.jpg?fit=768%2C1024&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/khoggattabader.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/72","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/khoggattabader.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/khoggattabader.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/khoggattabader.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/khoggattabader.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=72"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/khoggattabader.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/72\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":75,"href":"https:\/\/khoggattabader.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/72\/revisions\/75"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/khoggattabader.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/74"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/khoggattabader.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=72"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/khoggattabader.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=72"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/khoggattabader.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=72"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}